January 13, 2010
Let Us Build Temples of the Holy Spirit
I visited many holy temples in Greece on my recent trip, and it goes without saying that they were awesome. And there is absolutely NO doubt about it that in each of them, the Holy Spirit dwelt therein--I can attest to this from the abundant grace I experienced during my visit. But, the kinds of temples I'd like to talk about in this post are a bit different... Recently, Father Anthony Perkins conducted an interview with me on his awesome podcast, OrthoAnalytika, which everyone should subscribe for free via iTunes for excellent homilies on the Orthodox Faith, and other really cool stuff he likes to talk about. He asked me specific questions on how young people today can preserve chastity in preparation for marriage. I hope that the information I shared in it will help others, but in this post, I'd like to extend and clarify some of my answers. Please see my previous blog posts on the subject of marriage as well. These thoughts and writings are purely taken from knowledge given to me from our Church, as well as the lives of saints who lived in the past, and some who live today. Also, check out this list of links with a wealth of resources on Orthodox Christian marriage. Saint Paul asks the Corinthians in his first letter, chapter 6:19, "do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?" This is an admonition for good stewardship. Just like we are called to be good stewards of the Earth by living green, then perhaps we can be good stewards of our own bodies by living a chaste life in Christ. Just as a Church is consecrated to serve ONE purpose, to worship and commune with God through the Eucharist, in the same way, we are called to consecrate our bodies to God, to keep them holy, so that we may achieve union with God. According to several homilies I've heard from Archbishop Athanasios of Lemesol in Cyprus, who has spoken extensively to crowds of young people in the last two decades about marriage, I have learned that preserving chastity is not simply 'the right thing to do' that will add to the 'list' of good things that make us good Christians on paper. We engage in the ascetic struggle to remain chaste simply because we love God. And, since He gave us our bodies, we must treasure them as holy. Our sexuality is at the core of our being, and so, if we give our entire being (body, heart, soul) to another person outside of the blessed community of marriage, then we are essentially losing ourselves, and the hurt that results is quite devastating. I believe that myriads of young people today are walking around with this hurt, and sadly, they are not able to love wholly and purely if they do not seek spiritual healing. In the blessed marriage state, the two spouses become one flesh, meaning that their bodies respectively belong to one another, and so, physical relations within marriage serve to continually unite the two people in the context of Christ--this happens in a mystical way, through the grace of the Holy Spirit which comes only through the sacrament of marriage. And so, instead of losing yourself to someone who you don't belong to, why not preserve yourself whole, for union with your future spouse, who will be your eternal partner in Christ? Many young people experience such severe pain when they elect to become 'one' with each new person with whom they enter into a relationship. Sexual relations are not limited to the physical, biological union, but include emotional and spiritual union as well. It is devastating for people to continually form such unions and to repeatedly break them because they lose themselves in the process. Of course, we cannot exclude repentance and a return to purity, which is possible through continual confession and a truly repentant heart that strives to come closer to God. It is not too late to regain purity by living a life in Christ. If one desires to follow the path of marriage as a means to their salvation, it is vital to find a person who desires to follow and to love Christ in the same way. When Father Anthony asked me about the types of traits to look for in a potential spouse, I mentioned that the person should love God and love other people--this can be seen by their actions. I also want to add here the words of Saint Peter, in his First Epistle, chapter 3, verse 4, directed to women's adornment: "...rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." We must not look to outward beauty and even outward displays of 'spirituality' that make a person appealing to the eye, but we must get to know the person on a deeper and inward level as a human being, not as an object that will fulfill our unhealthy physical, emotional, and supposedly spiritual desires. Another idea I had given to a good friend of mine was to follow the examples of countless holy saints. For a young woman, it may be helpful to look at the traits of a gentleman saint, like Saint Demetrios for example. :) He lived a life in chastity dedicated to loving Christ, he loved children, he was patient and courageous during his imprisonment and martyrdom, and he shared his love for Christ with others by teaching them in truth and in love. Below is a picture of the Crypt Museum located beneath his Basilica in Thessaloniki. When I visited that day, there were children visiting also, and they were listening to his story right next to the spot of his martyrdom (see the vigil lamp in the columns). Yes, I'm raising the bar here... BUT, before we place such lofty expectations upon others, we must first strive to have these virtues OURSELVES, and to work daily in the sacramental and ascetical life in order to acquire them. By cultivating our relationship with Christ, we learn to be more like Him and His saints. I truly believe that if we focus on this relationship first, then if God wills, He will provide us with the right person with the saintly traits, at the right time, for the path of marriage. I also mentioned that during my visit in Greece, I had the chance to spend time with different types of family environments--with my hosts, two sets of newly-weds; with a family of two God-loving and hard-working parents and 3 great children, as well as with a community of 40 nuns at the monastery in Panorama, outside of Thessaloniki. In essence, we are not saved alone, but within a community. There are two clear paths toward salvation--marriage and monasticism, and the one we choose depends on personal calling with guidance from our parents and spiritual fathers. For those who live on neither path, there are ways for them to be involved in a community setting as well.The key to our salvation is to be able to love our neighbor, whether that person is our spouse, our abbot, the children we teach in Church school, the hungry in the soup kitchens, our elderly family members, or the person we pass on the street who needs a smile. Marriage as a path to holiness offers us the golden opportunity to practice our love for Christ through the practical and daily love we show to our spouse and children. The same holds true for the monastery and the parish. The biggest disservice we can do to our souls is to cling to ourselves alone and avoid the community which will lead us to salvation. May God enlighten us and guide us in our own paths toward salvation. And with that, don't forget to read Saint John Chrysostom. See this link and this one too!